Where do I start?
Instead of summarizing the last six months that I haven't blogged, I'll start from where I have found myself at this point.
I've officially begun living on my own, and saying it's the greatest feeling ever is a ridiculous understatement. Family situation got a bit out of hand, and the opportunity for me to move out presented itself, so I took it and ran with it. I was waiting for the right moment, and I didn't wait for long. I moved into a friend's house for about a week; his family was very warm and welcoming, but moving from my family's house to someone else's family's house, I learned, was not the experience my soul was yearning for.
Two of my best friends have an apartment that's literally a block away from my job, and one of them had offered me a place to stay if I ever needed it. From one day to the next, I was essentially moved in. I spent a lot of time here before I moved in "for real," but actually living here is a different, much cooler experience. Needless to say, not having parents to depend on is more expensive, but I can't even begin to express how much happier and at peace I am with my life and myself.
If I think about it hard enough, I realize that I could have moved out earlier. Actually packing my stuff and peacing out was a risk—perhaps one of the biggest, most uncertain risks I've ever taken. But everything has worked out for the better. I've learned so much about myself and about life in the past month, more than I have ever learned in such a short period of time.
Do what you need to do. Do what makes you happy. Don't limit yourself. Don't let others limit you. Money is ephemeral.
You will reach points in your life where you test the strength of your friendships and realize who your "true friends" are (thankfully, I've found them, and while it's hard not to be timid about it, ultimately it is a more satisfying experience). And hey, if you realize that those who you thought were your true friends ended up not being so, why does it matter? It may suck, but the learning experience from it is more rewarding than a façade or an uncertainty.
Learning is important. Educational institutions tend to be full of shit, but rather than dwell on that negativity, it's better to reach a balance with this fact and try to extract whatever good you can from it. In other words, while The System has its cons, there is good in everything. This is my last semester at Miami Dade, and each semester I had at least one inspiring, wise professor who has in one way or another changed my philosophy on life.
Back to educational institutions—the slightly unfortunate reality of life is that most of us need to acquire some sort of academic knowledge and experience in order to do the things we want to do. (Unfortunate because it forces us to buy into The System, not necessarily because there are better, less work-involving alternatives.) But the four-year-college-right-after-high-school-graduation route is not for everyone, and after four semesters I've realized it wasn't for me. Two years at Miami Dade is enough, for the time being. I'm ready to take a break.
Have I mentioned that learning who your true friends are is a great experience? (Rhetorical question.) It took me eighteen years to comprehend the fact that before you find your true friends, you need to find yourself first. In retrospect, a part of me had been trying to do that all along. I don't think humans ever stop learning about themselves, but you have to develop some understanding of who you are before you can even begin to realize who your true friends are.
I wrote a quote in a journal I bought for Fernando a couple of weeks ago, one that I feel poignantly expressed my post-move-out emotions. I'll end here with it:
"If you spend your whole life waiting to be ready, you will forever remain stationary. The very nature of taking risks in life is that we do so unaware, unprepared, and unexpected. But it is through risks that we learn and live."
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Sunday, July 27, 2008
coffee in concert?
I just spent the past half hour talking to Suhong, a 43-year-old woman living in Chengdu, China. She's lived there her whole life and wants to travel the world, and she's trying to learn English. She doesn't know much—and I can barely speak Chinese at all—but I was able to help her pronounce some of the lessons from LiveMocha.com, which is how this all started. There's a 12-hour difference between here and there, but she labeled herself a 'night people' early on in our conversation.
It's 2008. Even the idea of the Internet is barely 30 years old, and today I can log into a website and connect to random people 24 hours a day. I can be sitting comfortably in a chair at my desk, in my room, having a snack and relaxing in my PJ's, and at the same time be talking to anyone practically anywhere on Earth, without a phone and despite a distance of hundreds or thousands of miles. I can actually use the 'net to find people learning English—people who speak languages I'm trying to learn—and exchange 'knowledge' with them.
I think it's pretty easy to forget how mind-boggling the convenience of the Internet really is, considering how important of a role computers play in our lives. How often do we check our e-mail or text message on a daily basis? (Needless to say, I do that a lot, but that's because my iPhone makes it even easier than getting up and checking anything on a computer.) Our society is constantly wired to the WWW. Pun intended.
It's almost scary.
It's 2008. Even the idea of the Internet is barely 30 years old, and today I can log into a website and connect to random people 24 hours a day. I can be sitting comfortably in a chair at my desk, in my room, having a snack and relaxing in my PJ's, and at the same time be talking to anyone practically anywhere on Earth, without a phone and despite a distance of hundreds or thousands of miles. I can actually use the 'net to find people learning English—people who speak languages I'm trying to learn—and exchange 'knowledge' with them.
I think it's pretty easy to forget how mind-boggling the convenience of the Internet really is, considering how important of a role computers play in our lives. How often do we check our e-mail or text message on a daily basis? (Needless to say, I do that a lot, but that's because my iPhone makes it even easier than getting up and checking anything on a computer.) Our society is constantly wired to the WWW. Pun intended.
It's almost scary.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
sábado
Today has been productive. I went to the beach with Ashleigh, ran some errands, and now I'm home sending e-mails and cleaning my room. Tonight might be the first Saturday I stay home in a while. Not sure what else to say; everything continues to be going well! I had to cut my Chinese classes down to once a week because twice a week started getting too expensive, but I'm still practicing and studying daily. (Sort of.) That's pretty much the worst thing that's happened all summer.
I had a really minor accident at the hospital last Monday. Thankfully it was at the hospital and not anywhere else. As I explained it to a couple of friends, I went to war with a patient's medical charts. I won, but the charts put up a fight. You know those rings inside three-ring binders? Never leave them open unattended. Ever. My hand is still recovering.
Classes begin in a little over a month. I really can't believe it's almost August. I've been having a great summer without any academics involved, but part of me wants to go back to school already. Lots of stuff to be done before then, though!
Also, everyone who stumbles upon my blog needs to watch this:
I had a really minor accident at the hospital last Monday. Thankfully it was at the hospital and not anywhere else. As I explained it to a couple of friends, I went to war with a patient's medical charts. I won, but the charts put up a fight. You know those rings inside three-ring binders? Never leave them open unattended. Ever. My hand is still recovering.
Classes begin in a little over a month. I really can't believe it's almost August. I've been having a great summer without any academics involved, but part of me wants to go back to school already. Lots of stuff to be done before then, though!
Also, everyone who stumbles upon my blog needs to watch this:
Sunday, June 29, 2008
¿qué?
Recently, several friends of mine have started writing in blogs about their experiences (mostly about the summer). It's got me thinking about LiveJournal and how so many of us were into that fad for so long. Up until 2-3 years ago, I'd update it all the time. But I would always write with the knowledge that other people—my friends making up the vast majority—would be reading, which I think led me to exert some level of censorship in writing about what I did and thought. But I was in the world of LJ for almost four years. And as much as it embarrasses me to admit, I had a DeadJournal before then, which to this day keeps my silly 7th-8th grade notions. In short, I've been documenting my life on the internet since I was 12—roughly seven years ago.
Last year when I started up this blog, it was around the time I officially called it quits with LJ. At that point, I'd been updating sporadically, while still keeping up with friends' updates. LJ gradually lost its novelty during the advent of high school usability on Facebook. I still have an account but I removed all my friends and locked all the entries. In case I ever want to be nostalgic, I can always look back on those, and in fact I've done so at least once or twice in the recent past.
It feels good to write without an official audience. Whereas with LJ, you can control who has access to your entries and generally anyone whose friend list you're on will be reading them, Blogger doesn't have any option like that to my knowledge. There are no "communities" where users with similar interests can blab about the same tired thing, and information on one's Blogger profile is relatively limited.
So that's where it stands. I update this blog every once in a while, usually whenever I feel like I have a thousand thoughts running around in my head, rushing past and colliding into each other. Presently I don't have a whole lot on my mind, but since this whole LiveJournal vs. Blogger idea occurred to me I figured I should write about what's been going on lately.
Basically...my summer rocks. I can pretty much come into the office whenever I want, provided I have work to do. For the most part, I'm trying to work whenever I'm not busy (which is most of the time during the day) and when I'm needed more (Tuesdays and Thursdays). Though now I need to work as much as possible (more work = more money) to pay off my huge credit card debt after Bonnaroo/my excursion to Tennessee. The trip was amazing, although no words could do it justice and I don't think I'll ever get around to actually detailing what we did each day on paper/the 'net. Facebook pictures should suffice.
Also, I've been volunteering at South Miami Hospital since March-April. If I could concisely explain what I do there, I would. (I may have already done so in a previous post.) For the most part, I get to visit patients and ask if they need anything (magazines, water, blankets, etc.), run errands to/from the lab and other places, and get some office work done. Just like my job, the time I'm there varies from boring to stressful. I kind of like that. But being a volunteer allows me to help other people with my time, instead of always "doing my own thing." It's awesome.
So far, I've had seven Chinese classes, and they have been wonderful. To be honest, I can barely write what I've learned, but reading and speaking it are much easier. It's scary to look at a page full of Chinese characters and actually be able to read it (slowly, of course). I think the curriculum is great, though. The book's called "My First Chinese Reader," and judging from the flashy colors and cartoons, it's meant for children. Here's a reading example:
Like, what the eff? A month ago I would have wished to be able to read, speak, and understand the above. I guess it all depends on how much you study and practice; good thing this summer's provided me with a lot of time to do that. My classes are an hour and a half long, twice a week. And my teacher is excellent!
Have I mentioned I'm not taking a single summer class at school? That may be the best part of all. This is the first summer (since elementary school) that I haven't done anything academic, and it was about damn time. I laugh when I think back to a few months ago, when I was planning on taking physics, calculus, and chemistry classes all within a twelve-week period, and now I'm not doing anything remotely close to that. Speaking of which, I registered for my fall classes on Friday. Considering my courseload, my major should be "liberal hippie studies." No math or science classes. I'll go into all that nerdy stuff later on, if ever.
So besides being busy most of the time, I've still been able to go out more than I ever have before. My parents are apathetic at this point as long as I tell them where I'm going. At first they were lamenting the fact that I'm never home for dinner (which I've tried to do more often), but I've made it clear that I'm going to take advantage of my summer as much as possible. I won't even begin to list the myriad of people I've hung out with and all the crazy-fun-chill stuff we've been doing. Overall, it's been great. So much for a curfew.
To be continued...
Last year when I started up this blog, it was around the time I officially called it quits with LJ. At that point, I'd been updating sporadically, while still keeping up with friends' updates. LJ gradually lost its novelty during the advent of high school usability on Facebook. I still have an account but I removed all my friends and locked all the entries. In case I ever want to be nostalgic, I can always look back on those, and in fact I've done so at least once or twice in the recent past.
It feels good to write without an official audience. Whereas with LJ, you can control who has access to your entries and generally anyone whose friend list you're on will be reading them, Blogger doesn't have any option like that to my knowledge. There are no "communities" where users with similar interests can blab about the same tired thing, and information on one's Blogger profile is relatively limited.
So that's where it stands. I update this blog every once in a while, usually whenever I feel like I have a thousand thoughts running around in my head, rushing past and colliding into each other. Presently I don't have a whole lot on my mind, but since this whole LiveJournal vs. Blogger idea occurred to me I figured I should write about what's been going on lately.
Basically...my summer rocks. I can pretty much come into the office whenever I want, provided I have work to do. For the most part, I'm trying to work whenever I'm not busy (which is most of the time during the day) and when I'm needed more (Tuesdays and Thursdays). Though now I need to work as much as possible (more work = more money) to pay off my huge credit card debt after Bonnaroo/my excursion to Tennessee. The trip was amazing, although no words could do it justice and I don't think I'll ever get around to actually detailing what we did each day on paper/the 'net. Facebook pictures should suffice.
Also, I've been volunteering at South Miami Hospital since March-April. If I could concisely explain what I do there, I would. (I may have already done so in a previous post.) For the most part, I get to visit patients and ask if they need anything (magazines, water, blankets, etc.), run errands to/from the lab and other places, and get some office work done. Just like my job, the time I'm there varies from boring to stressful. I kind of like that. But being a volunteer allows me to help other people with my time, instead of always "doing my own thing." It's awesome.
So far, I've had seven Chinese classes, and they have been wonderful. To be honest, I can barely write what I've learned, but reading and speaking it are much easier. It's scary to look at a page full of Chinese characters and actually be able to read it (slowly, of course). I think the curriculum is great, though. The book's called "My First Chinese Reader," and judging from the flashy colors and cartoons, it's meant for children. Here's a reading example:
你好！我叫白大卫，我九岁，我是美国人。
王小文是我同学，她八岁，她是中国人。谢谢！
Ni hao! Wo jiao Bai Dawei, wo jiu sui, wo shi mei guo ren.
Wang Xiaowen shi wo tong xue, ta ba sui, ta shi zhong guo ren. Xiexie!
Hello! My name is Dawei Bai, I'm nine years old, I'm American.
Xiaowen Wang is my classmate, she's eight years old, she's Chinese. Thank you!
王小文是我同学，她八岁，她是中国人。谢谢！
Ni hao! Wo jiao Bai Dawei, wo jiu sui, wo shi mei guo ren.
Wang Xiaowen shi wo tong xue, ta ba sui, ta shi zhong guo ren. Xiexie!
Hello! My name is Dawei Bai, I'm nine years old, I'm American.
Xiaowen Wang is my classmate, she's eight years old, she's Chinese. Thank you!
Like, what the eff? A month ago I would have wished to be able to read, speak, and understand the above. I guess it all depends on how much you study and practice; good thing this summer's provided me with a lot of time to do that. My classes are an hour and a half long, twice a week. And my teacher is excellent!
Have I mentioned I'm not taking a single summer class at school? That may be the best part of all. This is the first summer (since elementary school) that I haven't done anything academic, and it was about damn time. I laugh when I think back to a few months ago, when I was planning on taking physics, calculus, and chemistry classes all within a twelve-week period, and now I'm not doing anything remotely close to that. Speaking of which, I registered for my fall classes on Friday. Considering my courseload, my major should be "liberal hippie studies." No math or science classes. I'll go into all that nerdy stuff later on, if ever.
So besides being busy most of the time, I've still been able to go out more than I ever have before. My parents are apathetic at this point as long as I tell them where I'm going. At first they were lamenting the fact that I'm never home for dinner (which I've tried to do more often), but I've made it clear that I'm going to take advantage of my summer as much as possible. I won't even begin to list the myriad of people I've hung out with and all the crazy-fun-chill stuff we've been doing. Overall, it's been great. So much for a curfew.
To be continued...
Saturday, June 7, 2008
lo que me gusta
I like being with people. Laughing. Talking about life and love and insecurity and the future.I like speculating.
I like the summer, which is the only time of the year I can see everyone I want to see whenever I want, work and volunteer as much as I want, and learn whatever I want outside of an institutional context. I like the idea of learning Chinese with a private teacher, without testing and grading constraints, able to advance as much or as little as I want with no pressure. I feel like I am fully responsible for how quickly I learn how to read, write, and speak. And I like that, too.
I like that I have no idea where I'll be a year or so from now. I like the prospects of a new school year: new opportunities, new people, and new classes. I like the fact that I learned from my mistake of putting all my eggs in one basket, and I like that I have a second chance to do the opposite.
I like the idea that I can be a broke college student and still spend a ton of money to go to Bonnaroo next week, because I know the experience will change me and at the end of the day it will have been worth it. I love the friends I'm going with, and I'm 99% positive that the five or six days will envelop some sense of change for them as well.
I like transistasis. I like the fact that things are changing, that I can be more open with my parents than I have ever been before, and that I finally feel like I have freedom. I like that this summer has catalyzed an internal change for me. I don't like my faults but I really like that I am starting to shift them into other things. Although they may not be eradicated, I like that I am trying.
I like my sense of undying happiness. I like having the comfort of knowing that the little things do not affect me (and even the big things will not stand in my way). I like writing for myself, which is why I like this mostly-neglected blog.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
since I feel like I should say something, anything...
- Everyone should listen to "Idioteque" by Radiohead at least once in their lives.
- My first year of college was enlightening and amazing overall. I can't believe it's over. I met a ton of awesome people and learned so much, especially outside of class. Hope this trend continues.
- No summer classes like I initially planned, which means all I'm doing this summer is working, volunteering, and chilling. Maybe I'll try to learn a language. And I'm going to EFFIN' BONNAROO!
- I definitely need to play more music and practice more this summer.
Monday, February 18, 2008
damn it!
Haha, why am I so bad at these things? (It's been almost two months.)
Winter break was pretty decent and this semester is going well so far. I'm working 20+ hours a week on top of six classes (how I'm pulling this off, I don't know). I start volunteering at South Miami Hospital this Sunday, which I'm really excited about. I have a project due Wednesday, another due Thursday, and a physics test coming up. PTK and Metropolis are starting to pick up speed, too, which means I'm going to be even busier in the upcoming weeks.
I turn 19 on Thursday, March 6th (WHAT?) and I'm supposed to go up to Gainesville that weekend. I'll be skipping a day of school (we have Thursday off) but I only have two classes on Friday, anyway...no big deal. I actually went to Gainesville the first weekend of February and I had an awesome time! The bus broke down on the way back and I didn't get home before 2am Sunday night (which sucks because my calculus class is at 8 on Monday), but it was so worth it. Iris is an awesome host, her friends are pretty baller, and we met a lot of people. Fun times! I'm looking forward to spending my birthday there and hopefully I'll see a ton of people.
So I saw Cloverfield last month and I thought it was freaking amazing. I read a lot of haterz' negative responses (yes, haterz) to the movie, but I seriously thought it was fantastic. I also shelled out nine bucks for Meet the Spartans...no comment. I thought it was totally hilarious but personally wouldn't have chosen to see that in theaters.
Driving to school this semester is the best decision I could have made. I only have to commute to downtown four times a week, which barely puts a dent in my gas tank. I'm averaging at one tank every eight days, which is great. The metrorail sucks and I love being able to play my iPod (and sing along) as loud as I want. And since I'm there so early most days, I pretty much get the best parking spots in the garage.
Since I'm getting busier and busier, I removed all of my Facebook notifications, which means I won't be getting any more e-mails from the site, which means I won't be using it as often, which is good. Though, now I'm blogging again...and I just uploaded almost 100 photos to Flickr last night.
What else? Friday night, I went with Joe and MC to Sushi Samba on Lincoln Road. It was incredible! A bit pricey but so worth the money. Mmm. Now I'm hungry.
Winter break was pretty decent and this semester is going well so far. I'm working 20+ hours a week on top of six classes (how I'm pulling this off, I don't know). I start volunteering at South Miami Hospital this Sunday, which I'm really excited about. I have a project due Wednesday, another due Thursday, and a physics test coming up. PTK and Metropolis are starting to pick up speed, too, which means I'm going to be even busier in the upcoming weeks.
I turn 19 on Thursday, March 6th (WHAT?) and I'm supposed to go up to Gainesville that weekend. I'll be skipping a day of school (we have Thursday off) but I only have two classes on Friday, anyway...no big deal. I actually went to Gainesville the first weekend of February and I had an awesome time! The bus broke down on the way back and I didn't get home before 2am Sunday night (which sucks because my calculus class is at 8 on Monday), but it was so worth it. Iris is an awesome host, her friends are pretty baller, and we met a lot of people. Fun times! I'm looking forward to spending my birthday there and hopefully I'll see a ton of people.
So I saw Cloverfield last month and I thought it was freaking amazing. I read a lot of haterz' negative responses (yes, haterz) to the movie, but I seriously thought it was fantastic. I also shelled out nine bucks for Meet the Spartans...no comment. I thought it was totally hilarious but personally wouldn't have chosen to see that in theaters.
Driving to school this semester is the best decision I could have made. I only have to commute to downtown four times a week, which barely puts a dent in my gas tank. I'm averaging at one tank every eight days, which is great. The metrorail sucks and I love being able to play my iPod (and sing along) as loud as I want. And since I'm there so early most days, I pretty much get the best parking spots in the garage.
Since I'm getting busier and busier, I removed all of my Facebook notifications, which means I won't be getting any more e-mails from the site, which means I won't be using it as often, which is good. Though, now I'm blogging again...and I just uploaded almost 100 photos to Flickr last night.
What else? Friday night, I went with Joe and MC to Sushi Samba on Lincoln Road. It was incredible! A bit pricey but so worth the money. Mmm. Now I'm hungry.
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